


Rewinding the Toy Box

by xaoxngchen



Series: Shu and Aoi Childhood AU [1]
Category: ARGONAVIS from BanG Dream! AAside (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Childhood Trauma, Gen, Hurt No Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, PTSD flashback, please read the note!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-04
Updated: 2020-07-04
Packaged: 2021-03-05 01:42:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,157
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25066363
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xaoxngchen/pseuds/xaoxngchen
Summary: Shu could still remember it all sovividly.Please read the note before reading the story!
Series: Shu and Aoi Childhood AU [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1877347
Comments: 8
Kudos: 41





	Rewinding the Toy Box

**Author's Note:**

> **Content Warning: Childhood trauma, implied abuse, implied PTSD.**
> 
> **Please note that this is only a work of fiction and should not be regarded as canon or facts.**
> 
> My analysis on Shu as a whole: [Link](https://docs.google.com/document/d/1Fza0fCMsOWKgFmA4B29y8aaBPoox-m_MFnDz-cW2mxY/edit?usp=sharing)
> 
> There's this theory that Shu's silhouette appeared behind Aoi in Banzai Rizing's MV. While fans are thinking it's because Shu had hurt Aoi in the past, I like to take this a different turn. Everyone's brain has different responses to stress and trauma. While putting two people through the same thing, it's possible that one can remember vividly and the other would experience some amnesia. I'm fascinated by this, so I wrote this short headcanon that the two of them might have some past connection in this way. 
> 
> When I first watched Hikari no Akuma MV, Shu's behaviour with destroying the toys reminded me of Pandora Heart's Vincent. So this fic is also written with him as an inspiration! **Here is a link to my analysis of Shu from this MV! [ **[Part 1](https://twitter.com/xaoxngchen/status/1279958352760463360?s=20), [Part 2](https://twitter.com/xaoxngchen/status/1285895341347188738?s=20) & [Part 3](https://twitter.com/xaoxngchen/status/1296397525599965184)**]**
> 
> **Again, this is only a work of fiction and shall not be regarded as canon or facts. I still love them all deeply! I just really love to write angst haha.**

_**Rewinding the Toy Box** _

_**Words: 1147** _

The crowd roared as the last note of _Hikari no Akuma_ faded into the wind. The members of epsilon phi panted with adrenaline and waved to the crowd below the stage. It was yet another successful performance. The band swiftly left the stage while their moods were high and spirited.

"Ahhh~ That was so much fun!" Kanata breathed out a contented sigh. He then turned to his twin brother and nudged him on the arm, "don't you agree, aniki ♡?"

"Tsk, shut the hell up," Haruka growled.

Tadaomi smiled, "it is an honour to perform in such a large event like DesFes."

"Good work today. I expect no less from every one of you during our next live show," Shu said.

Reiji pushed his glasses up, "understood."

"Eh? What are you talking about, Aoi? I wouldn't forget the way out!" 

Shu's heart skipped a beat.

_Aoi...Wakakusa...?_

He looked up at another band walking in their direction. He caught sight of that pink hair and immediately felt a tremendous amount of unease. He looked away, hoping to avoid his gaze.

"Ah! It's the members of Fujin RIZING!" Kanata pointed out.

"Oh! Is that epsilon phi?" Fuuta waved to them with a huge smile.

"Good work out there. We heard your performance from our tent," Kohei praised.

Reiji nodded, "thank you. We've heard yours as well."

"We'll be going now, see you around!" Aoi smiled.

The two bands bid their goodbyes. As Fujin RIZING! started to leave, Aoi took a quick glance at the other band leader who had, _strangely_ , not spoken a word during this entire exchange. He was sure that he had not met Shu elsewhere before. Yet, from the first time he saw Shu's photo on the internet, he felt a strange sense of familiarity. Today was no exception. But he quickly brushed it off and joined his other bandmates. Maybe...he will remember someday.

Fujin RIZING! was long gone, and epsilon phi moved as well. But Shu still stood rooted to the ground. He had not moved an inch since.

"Shu..." Reiji called out but his voice trailed off when he realised what was happening.

Shu's breaths were quick and heavy, his trembling hands were clenched on both sides of his body. His wide eyes were fixated on the ground, yet it seemed as if he was looking at something else entirely.

"What's wrong?" Tadaomi asked.

Shu could not hear him. He could not hear _anyone_. His vision was closing in fast, yet there was a very clear image in front of him. Although his head was bowed and he was staring at his own two feet, he could still tell that he was standing in the guest room of a mansion. The porcelain tiles beneath his feet swirled in nauseating patterns when the tears welled up in his eyes. The room smelled of the fresh roses that would be changed every other day. Another boy, six years older, stood not far from his field of vision. His cries were deafening, _sickening_ , as the noise echoed in the room.

He was no longer standing on the soft blades of grass outside the rows of tents. This was _the_ mansion, the mansion he used to live in.

_Useless child!_

His breath hitched as those words rang loudly.

_Do you know what you've done?!_

A large hand came into his view at rapid pace and he instinctively backed away with a wince.

_I wish I didn't have a child like you!_

That booming voice, accompanied with the subsequent slap, was ear-shattering.

He held his cheek with a shaky hand. He could still remember it all so _vividly_. How that slap left a burning, stinging pain on his cheek. How that slap left an angry, red imprint that did not fade away until the next three days. How he was forced to conceal it with makeup whenever he was out of his room. Because to his father, no one could know what happened on that day. Not even his own mother. Not even that kind old lady who always gave him cookies in the kitchen.

When he was a little older, he finally understood why. Over the years, he watched his father rose up the ranks. More and more organisations were associated under his name, _their_ family name. He finally understood what all his father ever cared about was the power and money. If Shu had committed even a small, little mistake, his father would take it as a threat to the family's image.

It did not take long for Shu to feel that his father was growing further and further away from him. And yet, he would always feel strangled, trapped in a cage. No matter how far away his father was, Shu would always be within his control. When Reiji first appeared in front of him, he knew Reiji was not here just to be his servant.

"Shu."

His legs weakened and he collapsed to his knees. If Reiji had not supported him in time, he would have fallen over.

"Shu! That was all over!"

Reiji called out more firmly this time. He had to break Shu out of the torment that he was reliving all by himself. Before the band was formed, he had witnessed this more often than he wanted. During that only time Shu finally opened up to him, with a small voice, he confessed that it was like a rewinding video clip. From the time Reiji served under the Ujigawa family and being Shu's close guardian, he knew Shu's every little triggers and habits that outsiders would consider weird. He had seen the side of Shu not many people could.

Just like everybody else, he used to think that Shu's hobby to destroy soft toys was creepy and detestable. But after he had learned what really started it, he suppressed those thoughts and only quietly cleaned up the mess whenever Shu was done with his 'playtime'.

"D-Don't tell them..."

Reiji looked down at Shu who was rubbing the tears away from his eyes.

"Don't let them...send me back _there_..."

It was the first time for the rest of epsilon phi to see such a sight from their seemingly unbreakable leader. The 13-year-old always had an air of superiority and he was not afraid to order others around. And yet, in front of them right now, their leader had been reduced to tears. Crumpled, defeated, and he was just a small, helpless child.

Reiji swallowed the lump that formed in his throat. The Ujigawa family had always been strict with how Shu presented himself. Crying and throwing a tantrum were two of the things Shu was taught not to do in public. He did not have to spell it out fully for Reiji to know what he wanted to say was ' _don't tell them I screwed up_ '. 

"I won't tell them...I won't tell them, Shu."

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos and comments are appreciated! Thank you for reading <3
> 
> Shoutout to Cam and Mayhem who would always listen to me ramble about angst headcanons/theories about the AAside boys!


End file.
